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Attempting to keep this brief: my Other Half is an empirical thinker and Buddhist on the Autism spectrum. He regularly wears a gold and onyx ring that belonged to his step-grandfather, a man who saw only my Other Half's "disability" and wrote him off as "useless" for most of their lives together. The ring was initially a gift from the grandfather's first wife; it was given to my Other Half by his grandmother, the owner's second wife. The onyx ring is currently in my purse (where everything's shielded). It's important to Other Half that the ring is not destroyed or otherwise damaged, as the gift of it is, in his dysfunctional family, considered a test of his adulthood and responsibility.

While on that relative's property last week doing some maintenance, we heard what sounded like a door closing and Other Half got an image in his mind of this grandfather figure dressed as though he'd been outdoors working but decayed as though his remains had been "left out in the woods for a long time" in the downstairs of the home. He also felt a "malevolence" associated with the vision, to the point that he went for a weapon and locked us both in a safe room for about 10 minutes until I recentered myself and checked the house. This grandfather passed away 10 years ago and was cremated at that time. It took in excess of forty-five minutes to cycle enough calming, soothing energy into the room that he could begin to relax. (Which, tbf, I do to get myself to sleep at night anyway, it just usually doesn't take that long for his energy to ebb too.)

Other Half can't really wrap his mind around the fact that whatever this vision was could be partly addressed by the "stuff" he "doesn't believe in". My instinct is to stick the sucker (the ring, not my future husband) in a cup of sea salt in direct sunlight for a couple of days. But, I could smudge it, or do a saltwater soak or come up with a severing ritual and literally cut the ring's ties to anyone but my Other Half. I just don't want to risk damaging this freakin' ring, even if Other Half only wears it in front of his grandmother from this point on.

Meanwhile I'm also trying to figure out ways to make the property less intimidating after the scare he took.

And finally, I'm noticing that every one of my long-term partners has an outside entity scare the living daylights out of them after a few years in our relationship. It concerns me that this entity is the same thing cropping back up every time and it's really attached to me, not them.

Thoughts from the community?

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
jealousofstars
May. 27th, 2014 09:03 am (UTC)
If you haven't already, I'd smudge/cleanse the entire house. Other things you can do to your house -- add plants. Basil and rosemary are good for protection. You could sprinkle salt on the carpets/floor and allow it to absorb negative energy for a minute or two before you vacuum or sweep it out while visualizing the negative energies leaving your home.

Since your other half is Buddhist, perhaps ringing a bell in every corner of the house to dispel negative energies? Playing a CD with tingshaws would have the same effect, too, though probably stronger to ring the bell yourself.

I would also cleanse the ring. If you're worried about damaging it, cleanse it with water (fresh water if you have it, or just tap water), then lay it on a bed of sea salt for a day or two and maybe smudge it as well, or place it near some sage incense so that the smoke glides over it.

If you're concerned that the entity is attached to you, I'd recommend cleansing yourself -- a bath with epsom salts and herbs, cleansing meditation, reiki -- and then charging a protection stone that you can wear or carry with you at all times. Maybe jet or black tourmaline or something along those lines.
neumeindil
May. 27th, 2014 06:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your thoughts. You've hit on my biggest trouble-- my protective stones keep breaking, usually the bezel, but at least twice the crystal itself has cracked. So it sounds like time for an upgrade there. The bath may be difficult since my tub 1) doesn't hold water and 2) is where I spent most of the days during my last miscarriage, but I might be able to modify the normal ritual for the shower at the inlaws' since we have to go back to finish cleaning and put in AC units before they come home for the summer.

I think sweeping with salt and the bell will be things he can get behind. I even have a small brass bell that was my grandmothers' that will work given the situation. I'd thought to smudge the ring while I smudge my in laws' house and have a holy sage and sweetgrass wand I haven't used yet that should do it, but that might be too "unbelievable" for him. He could probably use a good smudging too, come to think of it. Just not sure if he'd go along with it. (He's afraid seeing this entity means he's "crazy". I've been through this two other times, with two different partners. I'm afraid it means the entity is attached to me and is attacking partners to get to me, which means it might be time to call a professional.)
katze_neko_mew
May. 27th, 2014 08:51 pm (UTC)
Which is why suggesting sage incense might work better. People are more used to incense, so the act of using it might be as funky to him.
soulshrapnel
May. 27th, 2014 09:29 pm (UTC)
I think other people in this thread are giving excellent advice already but I just want to ask, why are you spending so much effort and emotional energy on someone who believes that the things you work with every day don't exist, and that it's "crazy" to see or interact with them?

I get that from the world around me enough already. I don't need it in a romantic partner, too. (And the Autism spectrum is not an excuse - I know many Autistic witches.)

You deserve to be believed, especially by the person who is asking for your help in the first place...

Edited at 2014-05-27 09:31 pm (UTC)
neumeindil
May. 28th, 2014 06:36 pm (UTC)
I love who I love. That he's experiencing an awakening is nothing to worry about. It should, from a community standpoint, be something to celebrate, since someone who depends on scientific proof and reasoning is now willing to admit there are things science does not yet understand, coming out of the camp that writes our collective experiences off as "mental illness".

I'm hoping this post on your part comes from a good place, but so far all I can really gather from it is that you're being judgmental and possibly projecting.
northernwalker
May. 27th, 2014 01:24 pm (UTC)
I would get the ring professionally cleaned, then do a severing ritual and then a threefold cleansing on it and on your home. I can't do smudges, so I start with a sage spray I make up and bless ahead of time, then move to salt water that's been blessed and end with Florida water.
neumeindil
May. 27th, 2014 06:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the ingredients. :) Florida water is striking a chord since that's where the family members we're preparing for have just stayed the winter. There's an herbal shop in town that might have it, or I'm sure I can find a recipe online.
harrietbrown
May. 27th, 2014 01:41 pm (UTC)
I second what jealousofstars said. I used to do a housecleaning/temple cleansing ritual that involved sweeping the space widdershins (counterclockwise). Make sure to sweep everything out of the house. Then consecrate the four elements and carry them all around the space, widdershins, using sage incense for air. Sprinkle the salt and water, and smudge the air with the sage. Then you go around the space ringing a bell and chanting, "Out! Out! Out!" or "Begone!" also moving widdershins. Make a lot of noise. Concentrate especially on corners, dark areas, windows, entrances and exits, and where you feel any negativity lingers.

Then reconsecrate the space with the four elements, focusing on bringing in peaceful, positive, protective and healing energy. Seal all windows, entrances and exits by drawing pentacles in the air with each element. If you have it available, seal all windows, exits and entrances with Sealing Oil or your own personal oil, or a mix of your personal oil and your partner's oil. Seal all windows, exits and entrances by drawing a pentacle with your wand or athame. Then meditate on sealing and protecting your space and reconsecrating it to the gods. If you have a house god and/or goddess, this would be the time to invoke them to protect your space.

A house god or goddess can be a real boon and protection. Just make them feel welcome and keep them happy.

Good luck! I hope this helps!
neumeindil
May. 27th, 2014 06:05 pm (UTC)
Locking down our space will be difficult at best. I do, however, have some Fae of some sort that live here. I may have to ask them to help me out and bribe them with more chocolate and some pretty ribbons.
harrietbrown
May. 27th, 2014 07:18 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a plan!
musiquephan
May. 27th, 2014 03:14 pm (UTC)
I second All of the Above (just watch with the salt on the metal - it can corrode. put something between the metal and the salt. It still works...and in addition, if you think you are still having issues, you could contact a reputable medium and have them help you send whatever is attached to you back to the other side (similar to some of the work Kim Russo does...to drop a more-familiar name).

Good luck!

neumeindil
May. 27th, 2014 06:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I was concerned about physical changes to the ring based on what I use to cleanse, but a piece of parchment between it and the salt will probably suffice to protect the finish.
couri
May. 27th, 2014 04:37 pm (UTC)
What everyone else said, but instead of using salt (the stone is fairly porous), you could try burying it in the ground for awhile, and then smudge it, and then blast it with good energy ...I have an evil deceased relative (my grandmother ...we've got this hereditary thing going on in the family so she would have been a witch with a gift for healing, but she took that and twisted it and used it to harm and it drove her kind of mad) ...and I've done lots of cleansing and warding of my spaces, because she's mainly after me, but I also have her wedding rings (because my grandfather, whom I adored and who was a great man) picked them out. She can't get in now, and can't send anything in to cause trouble, but things were exciting for a bit before I figured this stuff out.
I'm not a witch, though, so my methods are a bit different. I inherited the shamanic abilities from my grandfather's side of the family, and half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. Some of the stuff I do I make up as I go along.

So. You might want to take the things I say with a grain of (sea) salt.

If somebody is tied to that ring, cut the ties and work from there. And there's no such thing as 'overkill' in these situations.
Safety first, and good luck!

ETA: People get excited or upset about hereditary families but imagine having abilities that you can't control, or a relative who used their gift for evil. I'm not bragging. I'm floundering. My six-year-old nephew inherited an ability to see and speak with spirits. I'm trying to figure out how to help him, and keep myself safe and it's a bit of a nightmare sometimes. Thought I should add that in. I come from an old culture on my mother's side so these things do run in the family. I don't see them as gifts. Some of them scare me.

Edited at 2014-05-27 04:40 pm (UTC)
neumeindil
May. 27th, 2014 06:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your input. You hit the nail on the head with "there's no such thing as overkill in these situations". And if nothing else, having his parents' house nice and clean and sweet smelling when they move back home for the summer is a nice gesture that will earn Other Half points.

My thinking about hereditary families is confused at the moment because it's clear I'm in one, I'm just not certain what the consequences of it will be. The best case scenario is that my father is illegitimate and I'm of Italian/Irish/German/Welsh decent while he was raised never knowing he and 4 of his siblings weren't his "father's" children. The worst case scenario removes the Italian ties but adds in a predisposition to madness or possibly a family curse on the women born with my surname. They all go mad, some at a very young age. (Nearly putting out childrens' eyes with knitting needles, putting nephews/nieces in pots of water on the stove, that sort of thing.) Thankfully the gifts I've got are manageable (foresight in emergencies from my mother's, communication with animals father's side). But with this trend of boyfriends and now a fiancee haunted, I'm starting to wonder if the 'curse' isn't this entity making women in my family mad by terrorizing their loved ones, though thanks to some interesting happenings in college, I could have attracted it on my own too. :/
couri
May. 28th, 2014 12:40 am (UTC)
I've stopped dating because I only attract men who want to kill me. I wonder what I'm putting out sometimes. If it's the bright light that attracts nasty things also attracts nasty men or if it's just me.

So I'm a big-time safety first kind of person, especially since I don't know what I'm doing. I never met the last shaman; he died when my mother was a child. My mom's a witch with an affinity towards animals. Me, I'm going to get into trouble one of these days. I need to find a book.

My grandmother went mad, but only because she inverted her abilities. Of course, she was a nasty piece of work to do that anyway. Oh, and death has not improved her. She's still evil.

One of my friends is a witch who always has ...something show up and scare her boyfriends at some point. Since she has an ability with human spirits (I don't), it just happens, but her non-believing boyfriends started believing pretty quickly.

Oh, and I agree with the bells. Luckily the stuff we do and Buddhism seem to cross over in some respects. I have Indian wedding bells hanging on my door but any happy sound works. As does filling a room with positive emotion. And nasty things hate happiness and laughter.
It probably annoys my family, but I wear jewelry that jingles. But I'm half West Asian and we're an old culture so I guess if somebody had to be a shaman and it's me, it's fine. I hope my nephew is a witch because I have no idea what I'm doing. I just make stuff up.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )